‘I am worth living for’

This week’s post is by Linda Meyer, who recently founded a suicide attempt survivor support group as part of her New Jersey-based wellness center, The Support Place. She is a strong supporter of Wellness Recovery Action Plans, or WRAP plans, and with good reason. They are useful in bringing order to a sometimes chaotic experience, they create a network of supporters who can spring into action once certain signs of crisis are noticed, and they are an assertion of a person’s intelligence and control at a time when caregivers risk overlooking them:

There was a time in my mid-forties when my depression became so bad that the only way I thought I could feel better was to just die. I suppose it was a way of controlling the uncontrollable when every emotion and every physical pain left me feeling hopeless. It was very hard for someone like me, who had a lot of hope and was very much in control of my life. I was happily married, raising our seven children, and beginning to work outside the home. (more…)

‘The disclosure that frees us’

This week’s post is by Susan Means:

I am 60 years old and a four-attempt suicide survivor. My most recent, and what I would have thought would be my final, attempt was in December 2012, just shy of my 59th birthday.

The fact that I have arrived at this point in my life, one of being willing to disclose, really illustrates to me how fully ingrained the stigma and shame is in me. After my last attempt. where I spent close to 10 days in ICU on a ventilator, an old friend told me, “Next time, get all your affairs in order first.” This was from someone who was in recovery for drug and alcohol addiction! I can remember going home to make sure I would “succeed” this time, as the shame was too great to bear. (more…)

‘Twice as therapeutic’

This week’s post is by Josh Walfish, a recent college graduate who currently is living his dream in North Carolina. He reflects here on the year that has passed since he wrote a column for his student newspaper in the wake of four suicides in one year on campus. He says he is constantly grateful for his wonderful support network and wants to de-stigmatize suicide by starting an honest dialogue about it:

On November 13, 2013, I wrote my best column ever.

I’m a sports reporter, but on this day, sports were irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was that I was alive and able to write my best column ever.

I knew when I began with the words “I shouldn’t be alive” that I was entering dark territory. When only 15 words in I dropped the line “I am a survivor of suicide,” I understood what I was about to endeavor. (more…)

‘From a faraway land’

This week’s post is by Emily Routt, who describes herself as a 30-something Catholic who lives in Texas and loves to read, marathon shows on Nexflix and hang out in any combination of coffee shop and bookstore. “As someone who has survived and as someone who works in psych now, I would love to help change how survivors are treated,” she wrote in an email.

“How did I get here? How did things get this bad? Why am I still alive?”

As I lay in the emergency room, this was all I could think. The lights were off, and a nurse was there with me because they were worried I might try to kill myself again. My entire body ached from hours of throwing up, my mind was clouded and all I wanted was sleep, and to be alone. (more…)

‘Normalize it a little bit’

A couple of weeks ago I met Drew Bergman, who came to the New York area to speak at a walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. He’s also a regular speaker with the Philadelphia-area group Minding Your Mind, whose young speakers talk openly about mental health issues, including suicidal thinking. The next day, Drew was the keynote at the group’s annual fundraiser, where the video above premiered. You can see the speakers from the three-minute mark on.

Here, Drew talks about how he decided to speak out despite concerns about repercussions, a tech-friendly idea for engaging an audience that’s too nervous to ask questions, and his belief that public speakers can acknowledge that they still have suicidal thinking from time to time. (more…)